I might call my son Schteven

I might call my son Schteven

After my sweet guitar

But I am not sexist

If a girl? Well…Scharah!

I know it sounds weird

but please keep open minds

I think it’s a name

that my child could define

He might like a challenge

Like father, like son

Tell bullies quite firmly

teasing just isn’t done!

He’ll manage okay

with sticks and stones and such

and perhaps it’s okay

if I wed someone Dutch?

Bear in mind, this is based

on a Mike Myers movie

and “a schmoke and a pancake”

might not make Schteven “groovy”

but I think he’ll be fine

even make it quite trendy

Yes, life is a road

and, sometimes, roads are bendy

Yes, perhaps he might kill me

that’s a chance I’ve considered

so I’ve found a Godmother

who I think could deliver

Not as keen on the name

Doesn’t share my ambition

but not everyone values

a good man with a vision

Still, she might come around

You can’t leave a child homeless

and yes Gertrud, my wife

would have left me.

She’s soulless!

Doesn’t want Schteve to thrive

and a bit too self-centred.

Didn’t quite check the small print

of the marriage she entered

But I’ll stick by his side

till the day he disowns me

For one day he will get it

and then laugh

then he’ll owe me!

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